"Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go pack up my identity." (Week 75)

And just like that it’s over. I cannot tell y’all enough how fake this feels. I have spent a year and a half in the deep South, and now I am going home. Throughout my mission, I kept a list of all the things that I have learned, and that list is almost to 100 different items. I was going to copy and paste that whole thing here, but that would be annoying to read, so I think I am just going to share with y’all some of the greatest lessons I have learned while serving here in Louisiana and Mississippi.

I learned what grace and the Atonement of Jesus Christ really means. I have been working towards an understanding of that my whole life, and it took serving a mission and getting to the point where I have nothing else to turn to except for my Savior. He pulled me out of every situation and I am so grateful for Him.

I learned how to love serving others. Service projects have become my favorite thing. It really is so rewarding to lose yourself in the service of others.

I learned that my relationship with Jesus Christ should not be an abusive relationship, if it is abusive, then we are the abuser. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, and that stops us from seeing ourselves the way God sees us. He loves us and died for us. He wouldn’t want us to beat ourselves up. He wants us to repent, but with the result of being made whole, not breaking ourselves into even more pieces than we already are in. (Thanks mom for teaching me that.)

On that note I learned how important family is. I am so grateful for the family I left behind, and I am so excited for the family I am going to help create one day. All of this really is so that one day families can live together forever. I want everything I do to be pointed towards that goal.

I learned that sometimes it is better to not think. Sometimes what you need to do is just have a little bit of courage and jump in the water (metaphorically speaking, missionaries aren’t allowed to swim.) Just talk to people without it all being rehearsed. That way the spirit can guide you. And it makes things more fun.

And I learned how to love others. I think I had some of this skill before the mission, but 12 companions and 7 areas later I have had a lot of people pass through my life, and I love all of them. Sometimes it has been really hard, and other times have been beautiful. The people are what it is all about. The people around me have left the biggest impact. From missionaries to members to people I taught. I have made friends that I think I will be friends with forever. I have learned from them, and I have learned to give myself. I am going to miss so many people out here. But thankfully so many of my new friends live/go to school in Utah, so I don’t really need to say goodbye.

Part of me will always be in the South. I really was meant to come to Louisiana (and Mississippi), this crazy, weird, random, diverse, religious, messy, beautiful part of the world. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father for sending me here, and helping me to serve a full and honorable mission. I am grateful for my friends and family for supporting me from home and from all around the world. I love y’all so much!! I will see you soon!!!